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Once a little boy was playing outdoors and found a fascinating caterpillar. He carefully picked it up and took it home to show his mother. He asked his mother if he could keep it, and she said he could if he would take good care of it.
The little boy got a large jar from his mother and put plants to eat, and a stick to climb on, in the jar. Every day he watched the caterpillar and brought it new plants to eat.
One day the caterpillar climbed up the stick and started acting strangely. The boy worriedly called his mother who came and understood that the caterpillar was creating a cocoon. The mother explained to the boy how the caterpillar was going to go through a metamorphosis and become a butterfly.
The little boy was thrilled to hear about the changes his caterpillar would go through. He watched every day, waiting for the butterfly to emerge. One day it happened, a small hole appeared in the cocoon and the butterfly started to struggle to come out.
At first the boy was excited, but soon he became concerned. The butterfly was struggling so hard to get out! It looked like it couldn’t break free! It looked desperate! It looked like it was making no progress!
The boy was so concerned he decided to help. He ran to get scissors and snipped the cocoon to make the hole bigger and the butterfly quickly emerged!
As the butterfly came out the boy was surprised. It had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings. He continued to watch the butterfly expecting that, at any moment, the wings would dry out, enlarge and expand to support the swollen body. He knew that in time the body would shrink and the butterfly’s wings would expand.
But neither happened!
It never was able to fly…
As the boy tried to figure out what had gone wrong his mother took him to talk to a scientist from a local college. He learned that the butterfly was SUPPOSED to struggle. In fact, the butterfly’s struggle to push its way through the tiny opening of the cocoon pushes the fluid out of its body and into its wings. Without the struggle, the butterfly would never, ever fly. The boy’s good intentions hurt the butterfly.
WELCOME TO RAISING AMAZING!!!
Like the little boy in the story, we, as parents, are very eager to come to our kids’ rescue so that they won’t have to struggle.
However, that is exactly the opposite of what we should be doing if we want to foster independence in our children. Join us as we examine how children learn, grow and mature at their own pace. We recognize that all parenting situations are different and no one parenting style is best. Regardless of the approach, the ultimate goal for all parents is to develop independent children who will thrive. Independence in children breeds self-esteem, growth mindset, empathy, kindness, intrinsic motivation, goal-setting, and resiliency. These are qualities that we all certainly hope to see in our children. Just like the butterfly, children go through many struggles that are meant to help strengthen their wings in preparation to fly. We hope the information and support you find through Raising Amazing will serve as a valuable guide on your parenting journey.
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